Give Me My Sin Again

July 2010

Here you come again

through my window,

and under my canopy bed.

Your eyes make me want to

melt in a daze –

and I’m wishing,

and I’m wanting.

So we run.

run away from time

to fall into the arms

of Eternity.

I think we’re flying

but nothing is an issue anymore

because

we are free.

But time is always an issue,

and clocks are always ticking,

and I fear there is

no more time

for you and I.

From the distance,

I hear:

“I fear

her freedom

might be

her only restraint.”

Do you hear Africa?

Or is it just

The beating of my heart?

My feet dance by their own accord,

and your lips

taste of all things sweet.

But every one of us

are like little bubbles;

beautiful but permanently temporary.

I am gone and so are you.

Our heavy hearts

and burdened souls

chime harmonies seldom heard of.

Here comes the heartbreak

of a thousand souls.

A young lover

Once told me:

“The only thing you have to do in life

is breathe.”

The lump in my throat

slowly chokes me.

I need you like I need air

but air isn’t coming

too easily

right now.

And I’m slipping away into

mad oblivion,

my tears erupt into

fountains of gold.

And as the pressure

of our history

comes tumbling down

on my weakened body,

I remember

You saying:

“I’m tired and all I want to do is leave.”

And you asked me not to follow you, not this time.

Yet you still call my name

wherever I go:

you silence my joy

as you wail in despair.

You haunt me,

but it soothes me as well.

Lost and found,

amidst the cocktails

and ballroom dances

I’m slowly

disappearing

and soon I’ll be gone…

I’m my own hallucination.