The Fear Of My Mind

I was driving down a road
That led to nowhere in particular,
Only to some vague destinations
In my mind.

The trees along the road
Were motionless
As I passed them by,
Not a stir, nor a blur.

They say that trees
Are the best at telling time.
But in that moment,
Time stopped counting.

I had packed my luggage,
But left behind my thoughts
And my heart in a box
Under a childhood tree.

"We'll mail them to you
Once you're ready."
Once I'm ready
to forget about them.

It was almost as absurd as
Suggesting to
find a new heart,
and breed new past memories.

It was in my mind that I got lost.
I think I confused it with yours,
For I had gotten so used to
Living inside your head.

You and I were all too similar;
And amidst my confusion,
My loss of sense,
I had only one wish.

I wished nothing else
But to crawl back into the spot
That you saved for me
Deep inside the corners of your mind.

There was a time
When you and I
Were briefly promised
The timed gift of a temporary
Forever.

I had dodged through
fear and attachment,
I had avoided feeling,
Until your feelings crashed into me.

It all came crashing down,
And I wanted to yell
"Listen, I AM afraid!
I'm just as afraid as you are."

But yelling the truth
Would only make the
gash tear apart at the stitches.
I had kept it closed for so long.

Fear is a shadow,
You can forget about it,
But you can never distance
Yourself from it.

My fear was you,
And you feared me too.
But in the most beautiful of ways,
Our fear fueled everything we knew.

Driving down my mind,
I look back at the moment
When you stripped me
down to my core and soul.

My mind's playing tricks,
But I hold onto the instant,
And try to make it last.
If only for a second longer.